


Invasion of the Bodysnatchers

by Fire_Bear



Series: Birthday Paladins [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Birthday, Gen, Not sure what it should be tagged as, Surprises, chat fic, mentions of unwanted flirting and general creepiness, or minor harrassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 12:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14188974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fire_Bear/pseuds/Fire_Bear
Summary: Five friends online discuss birthdays as the year trudges on - until it's Pidge's birthday and there's no sign of her friends' well wishes...





	Invasion of the Bodysnatchers

**Author's Note:**

> This... sort of got away from me? Writing chat fics is apparently complicated...
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't really know what a Chuck E. Cheese is but it's mentioned in this. I'm just presuming it's like those things in comedy films where people take kids and they run riot and it's utter chaos, so.
> 
> So you know:  
> bird0fprey = Pidge (because Pidge = pigeon = bird = she's definitely not a songbird, heh)  
> the_tailor = Lance (his aunt taught him how to sew one time)  
> Cupcake = Hunk (Lance made his account and decided this was the best name for him)  
> samurai = Keith (Lance changed his name once and it stuck)  
> Kuro = Shiro (he thought this would be hilarious)

**the_tailor:** Hunk!

**the_tailor:** Buddy!

**the_tailor:** do you KNOW what’s happening this year?!!!!

**samurai:** I was in the middle of answering Pidge, you know. ¬.¬

**the_tailor:** tough. this is more important!!!

**Cupcake:** what is it, buddy?

**the_tailor:** you can marry shay!!!

**Cupcake:** Lance!!

**the_tailor:** it’s true. you can also vote

**the_tailor:** and work full time

**the_tailor:** and buy, like, cigs and stuff

**the_tailor:** and ya can have sex with keithy boy and shiro too

**bird0fprey:** what you talkin bout?

**the_tailor:** it’s his birthday in a few weeks

**the_tailor:** he’ll be 18, shay’ll be 18, i’ll be 18

**samurai:** and I’ll be 19.

**the_tailor:** nobody asked YOU

**samurai:** you’re just jealous that I can buy tobacco products anywhere this year

**the_tailor:** URGH

**the_tailor:** that’s not the POINT, KEITH

**samurai:** then what /is/ the point, /Lance/.

**the_tailor:** the point IS

**the_tailor:** PARTY TIME, Hunk!!!

**Cupcake:** Yeah!!! ^.^

**bird0fprey:** don’t leave us out of it!

**bird0fprey:** just cause we’re not in the same state as you doesn’t mean we don’t wanna join in

**bird0fprey:** right keith?

**samurai:** sure.

**the_tailor:** we’ll make sure to have a chat party before we do anything

**_Kuro_ ** _ has entered the chat. _

**the_tailor:** oh, hey, shiro! hunk’s gonna be 18 soon

**the_tailor:** up for a chat party?

**samurai:** you just like saying chat party, don’t you…

**Kuro:** Oh! Yes, let’s do that.

**Kuro:** Actually, maybe we could send you birthday presents? Somehow.

**bird0fprey:** we could do it through an amazon dropbox

**bird0fprey:** if we buy stuff off amazon

**the_tailor:** you could get him stuff of his wishlist

**the_tailor:** heck we could do it for everyone

**the_tailor:** whos birthday’s next?

**Kuro:** Mine’s sort of in February.

**samurai:** sort of?

**Kuro:** It’s the 29 th of February…

**the_tailor:** ha!! that means you don’t get a birthday this year!!

**Kuro:** *pouts*

**samurai:** you are a grown man, Shiro, don’t pout.

**bird0fprey:** i mean, unless you take his birthdays into account…

**Cupcake:** don’t worry, Shiro. I’ll send you something.

**Kuro:** Thanks, Hunk.

**Kuro:** Nothing too expensive, though.

**the_tailor:** that means Pidge is next right

**the_tailor:** wait what age are you again??

**bird0fprey:** 15

**bird0fprey:** i’ll be 16 in april

**the_tailor:** ooh! it’s your sweet 16!

**bird0fprey:** urgh

**bird0fprey:** you’re gonna get more excited for this than I am aren’t you

**the_tailor:** i can’t help that my girl’s havin an awesome birthday

**the_tailor:** whatcha doin for it?

**bird0fprey:** nothing

**the_tailor:** wat dya mean nothin!??!!

**the_tailor:** NOTHING?!!!?????????????!!!!!!

**the_tailor:** ???!!!????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**samurai:** calm the fuck down Lance

**Kuro:** Language, Keith.

**the_tailor:** ??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????

**Kuro:** And I think what Lance is trying to say is, won’t you be doing something with your friends, Pidge?

**bird0fprey:** nah. one of my friends has a birthday the weekend before mine

**bird0fprey:** she’s been talking about how her parents are booking a spa for anyone who wants to come along

**bird0fprey:** i opted out cause… urgh

**bird0fprey:** also matt’s coming home the same day they leave for a few days so

**bird0fprey:** and then it’s spring break and everyone’s going away so i wouldn’t have much of a party

**the_tailor:** this is unacceptable!!!!!

**the_tailor:** imma cmome up there an force yor friends to celrbe wi uuuuu!!!

**samurai:** take a breath Lance and try typing that again

**Cupcake:** translation: he wants to go up there and rant at your friends till they go to your party

**the_tailor:** not having a party at 16 is unnaccceotofeqwhipdnfcve kwkl

**the_tailor:** unacceptable

**Kuro:** Did one of your siblings jump on you again, Lance?

**the_tailor:** nah

**the_tailor:** i gave up on typing halfway through is all

**samurai:** anyway. I’m sure Matt’ll do something with you Pidge.

**bird0fprey:** yeah

**bird0fprey:** gotta go though – visiting family

**_bird0fprey_ ** _ has left the chat. _

* * *

**the_tailor:** speaking of which, waht’s th eworst birthday present you’ve ever gotten?

**bird0fprey:** where the hell’d that come from?

**Kuro:** Isn’t it early where you are, Lance?

**Kuro:** And for you, Pidge…

**the_tailor:** familvist

**samurai:** looks like someone needs to be injected with caffeine…

**the_tailor:** hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**the_tailor:** ph

**the_tailor:** hmpjh

**the_tailor:** rugh

**the_tailor:** ffuck

**bird0fprey:** please go get some coffee

**samurai:** anyway, like I was saying…

**Kuro:** Yes, Keith. Don’t worry about that. If it can’t get there for my birthday, it’s fine.

**Kuro:** It happens to me a lot.

**samurai:** it’d probably get there if I was sending you something through Amazon…

**samurai:** I just figured I should keep up a theme.

**bird0fprey:** aw! does this mean I get one too?

**bird0fprey:** and lance as well?

**samurai:** urgh. do I need to?

**the_tailor:** r00d

**bird0fprey:** it lives!!

**Kuro:** Good morning, Lance.

**the_tailor:** It’s a horrible morning, Shiro, my dude.

**the_tailor:** not sure how i managed that

**the_tailor:** can barely read and typ right now

**samurai:** typ

**samurai:** come back to us when you’re actually awake

**the_tailor** : hello no

**the_tailor:** ive got Things. To. Do.

**samurai:** such as?

**the_tailor:** hang on

**samurai:** this isn’t gonna be one of his speeches, is it?

**Kuro:** Well, it sounds like he’s travelling. I wonder how far he’s going…

**bird0fprey:** not too far. his gran’s a few towns over, if he’s going on a family visit at this time of year

**bird0fprey:** 2/3 hours drive at most

**Kuro:** It must be something big if they’re leaving this early.

**samurai:** i would say ask Hunk but he’s not here.

**bird0fprey:** probably still sleeping

**samurai:** for sure

**Kuro:** For sure.

**samurai:** shut up.

**the_tailor:** for sure pfft

**samurai:** don’t you start, too.

**the_tailor:** whatever

**the_tailor:** why’ve none’ve ya answered my q?

**bird0fprey:** which question?

**the_tailor:** worst birthday present go

**samurai:** why?

**the_tailor:** Keith! c’mon man!

**the_tailor:** i have to spend the next couple of hours stuck with my little brother and sister in a CAR.

**the_tailor:** give me some entertainment

**samurai:** no

**the_tailor:** HARSH!

**Kuro:** For me, it was definitely the time I was given a pink dress. With frills.

**the_tailor:** ……

**bird0fprey:** ……..

**samurai:** ……… 

**the_tailor:** WHAT???!!!!

**bird0fprey:** please tell me this was when you were a kid…

**Kuro:** Nope.

**samurai:** stop trying to build suspense Shiro and just tell us

**Kuro:** My grandmother, who lives in Japan, has a close friend who has a granddaughter who lives in New York, too, and she accidentally sent me what she was meant to send her, as our birthdays are close.

**Kuro:** Funnily enough, she also got our sizes mixed up so it might actually have fitted me…

**the_tailor:** please tell me you took a picture of you in it

**samurai:** I’m not sure I wanna be scarred like this

**Kuro:** Nah. But I’ve got this.

**Kuro:** [image sent]

**bird0fprey:** i’m not sure i wanna open this…

**samurai:** me neither…

**the_tailor:** fine. I’ll take the fall

**samurai:** Lance? it’s been, like, 5 mins. you dead?

**the_tailor:** sorry

**the_tailor:** i just laughed so hard i banged my head off the window

**the_tailor:** and woke Maria the Monstrfberhwgiwedfkrv

**bird0fprey:** lol lance is in trouble

**the_tailor:** wenfberuberfbvkj vnfdeijfrefsdfnn 

**the_tailor:** fnreogn’nwfds vhelp!!

**the_tailor:** gejopbnsdfvfefvfvd

**bird0fprey:** keith you need to see this

**bird0fprey:** no wonder lance is being sentenced to death

**samurai:** lol (literally)

**samurai:** you never mentioned the headband, Shiro! a little warning would’ve been nice on my ribs.

**bird0fprey:** you tellin me

**Kuro:** Heh. It was simultaneously embarrassing and hilarious at the time and it’s just gotten funnier as time’s gone on.

**Kuro:** I thought not telling you would make it all the better.

**the_tailor:** god shiro you just about killed me

**bird0fprey:** via maria the monster, huh?

**the_tailor:** yes!!!

**the_tailor:** anywya, what about the rest of ya

**samurai:** one of my foster parents gave me a Halloween costume once

**the_tailor:** WHAT?! WHY?!!!!

**samurai:** they’d only just fostered me. Said it was so I could go to a Halloween party with them

**Kuro:** That seems…

**samurai:** I didn’t even get to go. it was only a few days later that social services took me off them

**bird0fprey:** why?

**samurai:** the guy’s brother turned up, high on something

**samurai:** on the day social services was making sure I had settled in all right

**Kuro:** Wow.

**the_tailor:** i think we’re all missing important info here

**bird0fprey:** like what?

**the_tailor:** what was the costume?

**samurai:** why do you need to know?

**the_tailor:** for sCIENCE!!

**the_tailor:** *SCIENCE

**samurai:** captain america

**the_tailor:** REALLY? Lol!

**samurai:** what’s so funny about that?

**the_tailor:** nothing~

**the_tailor:** i mean, i do knda see you more as bucky

**the_tailor:** winter soldier bucky, i mean

**Kuro:** He’s certainly got the hair for it.

**samurai:** Shiro!

**bird0fprey:** got the brooding thing going, too

**bird0fprey:** but if he’s bucky, what are the rest of us?

**the_tailor:** i’m the captain, obviously!

**bird0fprey:** nah you’re more like…

**bird0fprey:** spiderman

**the_tailor:** which one?

**bird0fprey:** ah no!

**bird0fprey:** you’re ant-man!

**the_tailor:** what?!!!

**the_tailor:** how dare!!

**bird0fprey:** i’m obviously daisy/skye/quake

**bird0fprey:** if we’re going with the cinematic universe

**the_tailor:** hunk would totally be, like, mr fantastic/reed richards

**the_tailor:** right?

**bird0fprey:** nah, that guy who’s with jane in thor

**bird0fprey:** erik sevlvig

**bird0fprey:** *selvig

**the_tailor:** ooh yeah

**samurai:** does this make Shiro Captain America, then?

**Kuro:** I’d rather be Thor. I liked reading about Norse mythology.

**the_tailor:** wait, no!

**the_tailor:** shiro’s nick fury!

**the_tailor:** or phil coulson!

**bird0fprey:** omgyes!!

**samurai:** accurate

**Kuro:** Huh. I suppose that’s not such a bad role…

**samurai:** but we’re forgetting something

**Kuro:** What?

**samurai:** Lance started this with birthday present talk. what about /you/?

**the_tailor:** well, wouldn’t you like to know, samurai jack?

**samurai:** that’s why I brought it up

**the_tailor:** i’m not tellig till pidge does

**bird0fprey:** urgh

**bird0fprey:** don’t wanna

**the_tailor:** c’mon pidge!

**bird0fprey:** fine

**bird0fprey:** a clock

**Kuro:** … What’s wrong with a clock?

**bird0fprey:** it was a barbie one

**the_tailor:** holy shit seriously?

**the_tailor:** did you not like barbies when you were a kid?

**bird0fprey:** no you don’t understand

**bird0fprey:** this was last year

**the_tailor:** omg

**the_tailor:** who enve

**Kuro:** Wow.

**samurai:** that sounds like a horrible relative gift…

**bird0fprey:** it was

**bird0fprey:** grandmother on mom’s side

**bird0fprey:** super strict with mom when she was growing up

**bird0fprey:** encouraged her to be all girly

**bird0fprey:** not happy when she wanted to be in science

**Kuro:** Sorry, guys! I have to go… :(

**bird0fprey:** mom and her had a kinda strained relatin- BYE SHIRO!

**_Kuro_ ** _ has left the chat. _

**the_tailor:** bye bye!

**the_tailor:** dammit

**samurai:** Lance, you never make it

**samurai:** your reaction time is shit

**the_tailor:** hey!

**the_tailor:** besides, YOU didn’t make it either

**samurai:** I do apologise… ¬.¬

**the_tailor:** don’t take that tone of emoji on me

**bird0fprey:** ANYWAY

**bird0fprey:** do you wanna hear the rest of my story

**bird0fprey:** or not?

**the_tailor:** sure!

**the_tailor:** so like grandmother being controllin of mom, gotcha

**the_tailor:** what happened next?

**bird0fprey:** well, once mom moved in with dad, they started talking on the phone

**bird0fprey:** managed to be civil to each other

**bird0fprey:** but didn’t see each other much

**bird0fprey:** then matt and me came along and she insisted on coming to see us

**bird0fprey:** still has oldfashioned views

**bird0fprey:** so she kept trying to get me to be girly and dress up

**bird0fprey:** which i’m fine with at times

**bird0fprey:** but then she saw all the science stuff i was getting over the years

**bird0fprey:** she started trying to tell me how wrong that was and how i should be a ‘good girl’ or whatever

**the_tailor:** wow

**samurai:** she sounds like a bitch

**samurai:** no offence

**bird0fprey:** so anyway she bought me the clock to try and make me think girly thoughts

**bird0fprey:** sent it to me actually

**bird0fprey:** i dismantled it and used it to make a robotic arm

**bird0fprey:** showed it to her at christmas and thanked her for the birthday present

**the_tailor:** pidge, our true hero

**samurai:** hear, hear

**the_tailor:** isn’t it here, here?

**samurai:** [ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/here-here-vs-hear-hear/](https://www.grammarly.com/blog/here-here-vs-hear-hear/)

**the_tailor:** ah

**bird0fprey:** weak

**the_tailor:** shut up

**bird0fprey:** your turn

**the_tailor:** my turn for what?

**samurai:** just tell us what your worst birthday present was

**the_tailor:** sheesh, keep your overly long hair own

**the_tailor:** *on

**bird0fprey:** tell us already!

**the_tailor:** okay, hang on

**the_tailor:** it was this

**the_tailor:** [image sent]

**samurai:** holy shit

**bird0fprey:** omfg what the shit is that monstrosity?

**the_tailor:** okay, so yu know emilia went to paris for her scholarship to study fashion design, right?

**bird0fprey:** oh dear god

**the_tailor:** so she gave me an “i owe you one shirt straight off a paris catwalk” not and then this arrived a few months later

**the_tailor:** i think it was the cheapest thing she could get me

**samurai:** that was considered fashion?!

**the_tailor:** yep

**the_tailor:** the worst thing was having to put it on so she could “see me in it”

**bird0fprey:** wait

**bird0fprey:** does this mean there’s a picture somewhere of you in that?

**the_tailor:** no

**the_tailor:** no

**the_tailor:** no i deleted it

**bird0fprey:** but did emilia delete it…?

**the_tailor:** i don’t know what you’re getting at but stoppinat roadside diner going now by

**_the_tailor_ ** _ has left the chat. _

**bird0fprey:** well this leaves me with time to stalk his cousin’s facebook

**bird0fprey:** let’s see if we can find this blackmail material

**samurai:** i heartily approve this course of action

* * *

**_Cupcake_ ** _ has entered the chat. _

**bird0fprey:** aha hunk

**bird0fprey:** do you have a picture of Lance in that shirt

**Cupcake:** woah, okay, i don’t even need to know what you mean

**Cupcake:** but i’m not giving you it

**Cupcake:** i value my life

**samurai:** Lance won’t hurt you, Hunk. you’re his best friend

**Cupcake:** it’s not him I’m worried about

**Cupcake:** Emilia hated it too

**Cupcake:** she was sort of duped into buying it and said she’d never live it down if anyone saw the picture of Lance

**Cupcake:** besides, this gives me an edge over everyone else

**bird0fprey:** dammit why are you so smart?

**samurai:** if you’re gonna be like that, you gotta tell us your worst present?

**Cupcake:** wait, is that what the shirt thing is about?

**bird0fprey:** obviously

**Cupcake:** but I thought Lance thought the shirt was hilarious

**Cupcake:** he even said ‘this isn’t even the worst present i’ve ever gotten’ or something like that

**bird0fprey:** WHAT?!!

**samurai:** =.=

**Cupcake:** he won’t even tell me what it was

**Cupcake:** it was from before I knew him, anyway

**bird0fprey:** there was a time you didn’t know him?

**bird0fprey:** also you need to tell us your worst birthday present

**Cupcake:** hmmmm

**Cupcake:** well, there was that time my grandma mixed up the birthday and Christmas presents she was giving me

**Cupcake:** so I got given this Christmas themed teddy for my birthday

**Cupcake:** I was a kid and a little miffed that I was being reminded how some people don’t buy me a separate present, despite it being a new year

**Cupcake:** but it was cute so I thanked her

**bird0fprey:** dammit hunk

**bird0fprey:** where’s the embarrassing story?!!

**Cupcake:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Cupcake:** yours wasn’t embarrassing

**samurai:** it’s just like you though

**_the_tailor:_ ** _ has entered the chat. _

**bird0fprey:** you

**the_tailor:** hey!

**the_tailor:** uh me?

**samurai:** you

**bird0fprey:** tell us the real story

**the_tailor:** uhhhhhh

**_the_tailor_ ** _ has left the chat. _

**samurai:** coward

* * *

**Cupcake:** so we’re gonna be going bowling tomorrow

**the_tailor:** it’s gonna be super awesome! 

**the_tailor:** except for that jerk lotor

**bird0fprey:** urgh that guy

**bird0fprey:** didja ever tell her about him hitting on you?

**the_tailor:** ….

**bird0fprey:** lance

**the_tailor:** she looked so happy i didn’t wanna spoil it!

**bird0fprey:** lance

**the_tailor:** if he does it at the bowling i’ll let her know

**the_tailor:** anyways new topic

**bird0fprey:** you can’t weasel your way outta this

**_Kuro_ ** _ has entered the chat. _

**the_tailor:** shiro where was the best place you went for a birthday party?

**bird0fprey:** don’t answer him shiro! this is all a part of his plan!

**Kuro:** What…?

**Kuro:** Have I missed something?

**Cupcake:** I don’t think it matters too much

**Cupcake:** but in the interests of fairness, Lance should tell us about his favourite birthday party

**the_tailor:** universal studios, hands down

**the_tailor:** we were there for a couple of weeks and it was amazing

**the_tailor:** even went on some of the rides more than once

**the_tailor:** specially when we realised there were single rider cues

**the_tailor:** i didn’t wanna come home

**bird0fprey:** i bet you went for the Potter stuff

**bird0fprey:** (but don’t think i’m forgetting about the other topic

**the_tailor:** i did not

**the_tailor:** we just happened to be in both of those bits on the actual day of my birthday

**Cupcake:** so lucky

**Cupcake:** wish I could’ve come with you

**the_tailor:** me too buddy

**the_tailor:** wait

**the_tailor:** i just had an amazing idea

**bird0fprey:** i highly doubt that

**the_tailor:** we should all meet up and go to universal studios at some point!

**_samurai_ ** _ has entered the chat. _

**the_tailor:** keith! come to universal studios with us!

**samurai:** what?

**Kuro:** That’s not actually a bad idea… If we can budget for it, at least.

**the_tailor:** YESSS!!!

**Cupcake:** i’m down

**bird0fprey:** me too if you bring allura but not invite lotor

**bird0fprey:** for y’know oBVIOUS REASONS!

**Kuro:** What’s this about obvious reasons and Allura?

**Kuro:** Lotor’s her boyfriend right?

**the_tailor:** urhg

**the_tailor:** can i explain in a minute?

**the_tailor:** gotta force keith into going to a theme park with us

**samurai:** ok

**the_tailor:** wait what

**the_tailor:** i thought you’d protest a bit more

**samurai:** i’ve been saving up to go for a while

**the_tailor:** but i was even gonna copy and paste

**the_tailor:** Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

**the_tailor:** why would you deny me this fun?

**samurai:** because it’s you

**samurai:** and like I said, I’ve been wanting to go

**bird0fprey:** i’ll go if you TELL ALLURA ABOUT LOTOR!

**Kuro:** Someone please tell us poor people on the east coast what’s going on…

**samurai:** you’re the only one on the east coast

**samurai:** out of us, anyway

**Cupcake:** our friend Allura has a nw boyfriend called Lotor

**Cupcake:** he’s kinda creepy - and he keeps hitting on Lance

**the_tailor:** i actually can’t tell if he’s actually flirting or if he’s toying with me

**the_tailor:** or allura

**the_tailor:** or both

**samurai:** sounds like a dick

**Kuro:** Why haven’t you told Allura about this?

**the_tailor:** cause

**the_tailor:** i dunno

**the_tailor:** i just don’t wanna upset her

**the_tailor:** and he could just be joking. in a creepy way

**the_tailor:** i mean he doesn’t do anything. just says things. and has this look in his eyes…

**bird0fprey:** TELL HER!!!!

**samurai:** tell her

**Kuro:** You should probably tell her.

**Cupcake:** told you

**the_tailor:** hunk

**Cupcake:** I mean, it’s basically harassment right?

**bird0fprey:** yeah!

**Cupcake:** you should definitely tell Allura

**Cupcake:** asap

**the_tailor:** ….

**samurai:** Lance do it

**the_tailor:** okay fine but

**Kuro:** Lance, no buts. Tell her. At the very least, it should stop him coming onto you.

**the_tailor:** no it’s not that

**the_tailor:** i just don’t wanna ruin her birthday

**the_tailor:** i think i’ll put up with it for another day and tell her afterwards

**the_tailor:** if that’s okay with you lot :T

**Kuro:** Sounds better than just leaving her to find out some other way.

**the_tailor:** yeah…

**the_tailor:** anyway lets talk about something else

**the_tailor:** like where all of you have had your best birthday parties

**the_tailor:** c’mon shiro you were asked 

**the_tailor:** tell meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

**Kuro:** I went to a cabin for the weekend for my 21st. It was peaceful - till me and my friends got there, I suppose.

**the_tailor:** you went camping?

**Kuro:** I mean, basically.

**Kuro:** It’d be fun if we could all go camping, actually.

**the_tailor:** have you seen any horror movie ever?!!!

**the_tailor:** that’s just asking for trouble!

**Kuro:** Lance, it’ll be fine. 

**the_tailor:** that’s what they say and bam! ghosts everyewhre!

**bird0fprey:** that actually sounds fun

**Cupcake:** we could have a campfire and make smores!

**samurai:** that’d be cool

**the_tailor:** fine i’ll come too

**the_tailor:** but hunk tell em about your favourite birthday party

**Cupcake:** I always loved the beach parties my parents threw me when we lived in hawaii

**Cupcake:** there was always good food and fun games and the stars came out at night

**samurai:** in january?

**Cupcake:** yeah it’s still pretty warm in hawaii then

**Cupcake:** I mean, maybe bring a thin jacket

**the_tailor:** i’ll just go ahead and add it to the list

**the_tailor:** what about you, mullet-mothman?

**samurai:** why Lance?

**the_tailor:** :3c

**the_tailor:** but seriously where?

**samurai:** uh

**the_tailor:** …. yes?

**samurai:** just after my foster family took me in, they took me to a renaissance fair

**samurai:** that was pretty awesome

**the_tailor:** for your birthday?!!

**bird0fprey:** in october?

**samurai:** texas has a couple of renaissance fairs in october

**Kuro:** I’ve never been to one.

**Kuro:** But I reckon that sounds like something we could all check out at one point. Right, guys?

**the_tailor:** “for sure”

**Cupcake:** yep!

**bird0fprey:** of course

**bird0fprey:** pfft, lance

**samurai:** dammit Lance

**the_tailor:** but all these sound like we need to do this next year

**the_tailor:** for everyone’s birthdays, i mean

**the_tailor:** i mean, in january, go to hawaii

**the_tailor:** february for being killed in th ewoods by ghosts, july for UStudios and october for texan rennaissance fair

**the_tailor:** what should we be doing in april pidge

**bird0fprey:** you’re gonna laugh at me

**the_tailor:** come on~ don’t be shy~

**bird0fprey:** i had a party one year in a chuck e cheese

**bird0fprey:** i loved it cause of the animatronics

**the_tailor:** oh my ever long god!

**the_tailor:** seriously?!!!!???!!

**bird0fprey:** yes

**bird0fprey:** what’s an ‘ever long’ god?

**the_tailor:** shut up yu know what i mean!

**the_tailor:** jesus we’re not going to a chuckecheese!

**bird0fprey:** i know

**Cupcake:** there weren’t any other parties you liked…?

**bird0fprey:** meh

**bird0fprey:** nothing that jumps out as ‘amazing! gotta do that again!’

**the_tailor:** urhg

**the_tailor:** we gotta figure out something else to do next year then

**the_tailor:** suggestions people!

**the_tailor:** this is serious

* * *

**_birdofprey_ ** _ has entered the chat. _

**bird0fprey:** huh

**birdofprey:** where is everyone?

**bird0fprey:** i mean, i know i was at the theater but i didn’t think i’d miss everyone

**bird0fprey:** and it’s my birthday now you asshats

**bird0fprey:** where’s my happy birthday?

**bird0fprey:** guys?

**bird0fprey:** where’d you all go?

**bird0fprey:** someone’s usually on, even at midnight…

**bird0fprey:** did something happen?

**bird0fprey:** ….

* * *

When Pidge woke several hours later, the first thing she did was grab her phone and log in to the chat. There was nothing new since she’d sent stuff at midnight. Disappointment made her slump against the headboard. She might not have said it to them or shown anyone at all but those guys were her best friends. Sure, Pidge had friends at school and down the road, but those guys were special, were more fun. It was as though the bond they’d formed on the website where they’d first met had grown stronger and stronger until she couldn’t imagine life without them.

Yet they weren’t here on her birthday.

Of course, Pidge didn’t expect them to be physically  _ here _ , in her bedroom or whatever. But she had definitely expected the pomp and fanfare at 11pm when Shiro sent his best wishes from his timezone. He had done that for Hunk and they’d had a discussion about that which had devolved until Pidge and Keith sent their well wishes, two hours early to where Hunk was. Lance had been the last to do so, with much more exclamation marks and excitement than the others had. For Shiro’s, they’d all worked out when midnight would be and wished him a (fake) happy birthday on the 28th.

But no-one had said it to her.

There was a knock at the door and Pidge pushed herself upright as the door opened. She frowned at it. “When are you gonna stop entering without my permission?”

Her older brother, always the one to make a fuss of her on her birthday, poked his head around the door with a happy grin. “Never,” Matt declared. “How’s the birthday girl?”

“Barely awake,” Pidge answered with a roll of her eyes. “What’re you doing here?”

“Well…” Matt finally entered the room fully, revealing the wooden tray upon which sat a bowl, a plate with food Pidge couldn’t discern from that distance and orange juice without the pulp in a tall glass. A vase also sat upon it filled with a variety of colourful flowers: pink snapdragons; blue delphiniums; yellow alstroemeria. He always got Pidge them for her birthday so Pidge knew well what they were. She smiled upon seeing them, glad that someone at least was thinking of her. 

“Breakfast in bed? Really?” Pidge said, raising an eyebrow. “That’s something we do for Mom on Mother’s Day, not for birthdays.

“It’s a special birthday, though, isn’t it?” Matt explained. Pidge glanced at her phone when he said that; his words were rather reminiscent of Lance’s excitement on her behalf. She looked back up at Matt as he handed her the tray. His wide eyes and raised eyebrows told her that he’d noticed. “What’s up? Waiting for a text?”

“Nope,” said Pidge, knowing that Matt would tease her about a boyfriend/girlfriend if she said she was. Besides, she didn’t exactly require them to say happy birthday to her so she shouldn’t really expect it.

“Uh huh,” said Matt, tone disbelieving. Pidge ignored him in favour of tucking in to her meal. “Anyways, Mom and Dad are at work - they’ll meet us later for dinner. In the meantime, I’m taking you out for fun.”

“Fun?” Pidge raised her eyes from the tray to give Matt a look. “I dread to think what your idea of fun is.”

“Oh, trust me. You’ll like this.” He stole a dry piece of cereal from the plate. “So hurry up and get dressed so we can get going.” Popping the piece of cereal into his mouth, Matt practically danced away, leaving Pidge to it.

* * *

By the time Pidge was in her new green dress (courtesy of her grandmother who had left it with them before she left on a cruise) and had her hair pulled up into a messy bun, there still hadn’t been a reply in the chat. She was starting to get worried, enough that she was mentally calculating the odds that at least three emergencies could occur simultaneously in three different time zones. Had Lance convinced Hunk to do something stupid again and either gotten them both caught or hurt? Pidge knew Keith worked with heavy machinery when he was on his foster family’s farm during the holidays - had something horrible happened with one of them? And Shiro lived in New York: could he have been murdered in something straight out of CSI or Castle?

If nobody had replied by the next morning, she firmly told herself when she noticed Matt’s concerned glance, she would let herself worry. For now, though, she would try to enjoy her birthday.

“You okay there?” Matt asked as he glanced at her from the driver’s seat.

“Yup,” Pidge answered, turning her gaze out of the window to watch the buildings flash by. “Where are we going, anyway?”

“Somewhere that’s fun, fun, fun!” Matt declared, rather enthusiastically.

Pidge snorted and looked over at him. “Why are you quoting the guy from Chuck E. Cheese?”

“Three times the fun!” he added in reply, grinning widely at her. “I remember how much you loved that birthday. You insisted on going up to watch the animatronics work.” Matt suddenly frowned at the road, thoughtful rather than annoyed. “Wait, do I remember you exposing one of them or was that a wacky dream?”

“Nah, I did. Hannah - that posh kid, remember? - screamed when she saw me doing that. Said I’d killed them.”

Matt laughed. “What a monster,” he teased Pidge.

She rolled her eyes until she was looking out the window again. The sight of the building they were coming up to made her blink. Was that…? Then she heard the sound of Matt’s indicator being flicked on and she looked over. Matt was grinning now, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Wait…”

“I  _ did _ ask if you were ready for fun, fun, fun!” Matt declared.

“Oh, my God…” murmured Pidge, staring with a mix of incredulity and horror as Matt turned into the parking lot of the Chuck E. Cheese they’d gone to all those years ago. “Matt, what are you doing?”

“Taking you to lunch!” 

“No,” said Pidge, shortly. She glared at her brother as he began to back into a space. He ignored her. “Matt, stop. Don’t you dare park here. This is for  _ kids _ .”

“Just the right place to take my baby sister!” Matt told her, grinning as he put the car into park.

“Matt!” she cried, feeling her face turn pink.

Her brother’s grin slipped until he was smiling fondly at her. “C’mon, Katie. You’re growing up way too fast. Let’s have some kiddy fun one more time before we start doing adult stuff. Besides, trust me: you’re gonna have tons of fun.”

Pursing her lips, Pidge considered it. Matt was right in that it wouldn’t be long until she was at college, just like he was most of the year. He’d chosen to go to one in New York and she hardly saw him any more. In fact, he usually missed her birthday by forcing himself to stay in New York and study. This was the first time he was present for it in a couple of years. She supposed she could sacrifice her dignity for the sake of her brother.

Besides, she hadn’t been lying to her friends when the party at the Chuck E. Cheese had been her favourite - she usually had to share parties with others. Having something for herself would be a nice change. Even if her friends still hadn’t spoken to her all day…

“All right, fine,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Let’s get this over with - I bet there’ll be a load of screaming kids inside.”

Cheering, Matt led Pidge inside the building, opting for crossing the parking lot in a straight line. Pidge followed, glancing around. Though she had just claimed that there’d be lots of children within the building, she didn’t see all that many cars. Maybe they’d car-pooled…? Or had Matt done something stupid like booking the whole place out for the day? Sighing, Pidge shook her head and stepped daintily into the ‘restaurant’ as Matt held open the door for her. He jokingly bowed to her as she passed and Pidge snorted.

Once they passed into the main area, however, Pidge froze in her tracks. As she had begun to suspect, there were no kids whatsoever - just a few employees in their bright uniforms and a group of young men. Four of them, all of them clearly waiting for someone. They turned as one when the door opened and Pidge stared back as their faces broke out into grins.

There was a tall, broad young man, floppy black hair falling over his eyes. His muscles were practically bulging from his neat, white shirt and he’d even put on a black tie which was currently a little squint. Beside him, arms folded, was a younger man, more teenager than adult. Black hair messily encircled his face, keeping his face in shadows as his smile became shy. He was wearing a dark red shirt which was untucked from his jeans at one side. Towering over him on his other side was a larger teen, dark-skinned and cheerful, orange headband keeping the longer bits of hair out of his eyes. A long-sleeved yellow top covered his broad frame and he was already bobbing in place in his excitement. The last one was a boy a little older than Pidge, all flawless dark skin and short brown hair. This one wore a sky blue shirt, the shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. She barely managed to register his appearance before the blue became a blur and the boy launched himself at Pidge, arms flung around her shoulders as he bent in half to bring himself closer to her.

“Pidge!” exclaimed a voice that Pidge always thought would be higher pitched. “It’s so good to finally meet you! In, like, real life, I mean.” Then the blue-shirted boy pulled away to grin down at her, the grin widening when Pidge continued to stare at him, mouth agape and eyes wide. “Wow, didn’t think you  _ got _ surprised.”

“Lance?” she tentatively asked, almost unable to believe her eyes. Was she still dreaming? Was she about to wake up to no messages and no friends on her birthday again?

“The one and only,” Lance confirmed. His grin became a smirk. “I told ya you need to have a Sweet Sixteen birthday party!”

Blinking, Pidge looked around the Chuck E. Cheese, taking in the bright colours, the quiet, upbeat children’s songs playing over the speakers, the bemused and amused employees and the friends she’d thought had abandoned her. So she whacked Lance on the arm. Hard. “Idiot! Why didn’t you reply on the chat?!”

“We wanted it to be a surprise,” Shiro explained. “I worked out a while ago that I knew your brother so when Lance insisted on doing something special for your birthday… Well.” He shrugged, a helpless smile on his face.

“Besides,” added Keith, “we were all flying in.”

“And, like, you said you liked your Chuck E. Cheese party,” Hunk continued, waving a hand around. “So we decided to surprise you here. Though I made sure  _ I _ made the food.”

“Matt’s cleared it with your parents,” Lance told her, shaking her slightly in apparent joy, “so we’ll be at your dinner tonight.  _ And _ it’s Spring Break so we’re gonna stay with you for the next couple weeks!”

“That’s why Mom was ‘spring cleaning’,” Matt informed Pidge, patting her on the head.

“Seriously? Guys…” said Pidge, feeling rather overwhelmed. Then her brain seemed to catch up with events and the intensity of her happiness shot through her, making her eyes water. “You…”

“Hey, hey, don’t cry,” said Lance, grabbing hold of her wrist. “Come sit down. We’ve got presents and games and stuff!”

Pidge let herself be dragged to the large table that was the centre stage of the room. Climbing frames and slides and ball pools surrounded them but Pidge was entranced by the feast laid out on the table. A lot of it was finger food. There were cupcakes and ice cream abound. And, as she was guided to the throne-shaped seat that had been designated as hers, Pidge found herself staring at a massive birthday cake, shaped like a friendly robot, green eyes gleaming in the candlelight.

“Oh,” she murmured, still feeling as if she was in shock. “Guys…”

“Happy birthday, Pidge,” they chorussed and Pidge couldn’t find the words to thank them.

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh, yeah, I chose Chuck E. Cheese because it was the only thing apart from Five Nights at Freddy's which came up in a quick Google search. I don't even know whether there's one in Chicago which is where Pidge is meant to be.
> 
> Lance's worst birthday present was the horrible mustard-coloured tutu he was forced to way for a dance recital when he was, like, 6/7. Or whatever.
> 
> Allura discovered about Lotor's flirting by catching him red-handed when they were at the bowling - both he and Lance were in the toilet and when Lance hurried out, Lotor caught up to him and neither of them realised Allura was nearby. Allura forgave Lance once she understood the situation better. Lotor... eh.


End file.
